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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I’ve had days when I'm runnin’ around like crazy, misspelled text messages and all—seriously can’t edit my thoughts sometimes. Like, life here is a scrbdled script, amazin and messy. You might catch me sayin “Oh my god, this is so real,” over and over, and trust, it's less than perfect, but it's life, ya know? It's like Amour's vibe: raw, tender, brutal, and beautiful.

Police seek missing woman, 37, last seen near her Niagara Falls home